What's the deal? Your weekly Publisher's Lunch deal snark (Beloved Childhood Series Edition)

Publisher's Lunch says: Francine Pascal's SWEET VALLEY CONFIDENTIAL, following her iconic identical blonde twins and full cast of characters into adulthood, now in their late twenties and early thirties, "where the real world intrudes," to Dan Weiss at St. Martin's (who created the original series with Pascal when he was a book packager), with Hilary Rubin Teeman editing, for publication in early 2011.

Indichik says: In a departure from my usual attitudes about PM deals, I'm kind of genuinely excited about this. I wasn't a big Sweet Valley girl (meaning I probably only read about 10 of the 8000 books in the series), but this fills me with joy if only because I love that no attempt whatsoever is being made to market this to children. I hope it's the beginning of a very successful trend

In fact, Ann M. Martin, god bless her, is already getting in on the act by reissuing the first Baby-Sitters Club book as a semi-ironic graphic novel that will deliberately not update the circa-1983 story, and that's a good start. But please consider going a step further. We as a generation need to know whether Mary Anne married Logan, whether Claudia ever learned to spell, and whether Jessi and Mallory finally embraced the love that dare not speak its name.

R.L. Stein? K.A. Applegate? Donald J. Sobol? Kathryn Kenny? David A. Adler? Judy Delton? Anybody else want to get in on this?

What's the deal? Your weekly Publisher's Lunch deal snark: New Year's Roundup Edition (plus: Jane Austen Must Die!)

Since I'm just now getting my snark back after the deep freeze, we're going to take a long trip down What's the Deal? lane. You won't miss a thing!

February 2, 2010

Publisher's Lunch says: Jojo Moyes's THE LAST LETTER FROM YOUR LOVER, searching her newspaper's archives for a story, a woman is surprised to discover a letter from 1960, written by a man asking his lover to leave her husband; despite, or perhaps because of her own romantic entanglements with a married man, she can't help but investigate; in 1960 a different woman wakes up in hospital after a car accident; she can't remember anything - her husband, her friends, who she used to be; and then, when she returns home, she uncovers a hidden letter, and begins to remember the lover she was willing to risk everything for, to Pamela Dorman of Pamela Dorman Books, for publication in summer 2011, by Sheila Crowley at Curtis Brown UK (NA).

Indichik says: Seriously, guys? Amnesia? We're talking about a plot point that even the writers for "Days of Our Lives" would dismiss as "too big of a cliche."

Publisher's Lunch says: Cindy Jone's debut I'LL FIND YOU IN MANSFIELD PARK, about a young woman who flies to England to re-enact scenes from Mansfield Park at a Jane Austen Festival and must confront whether she is a protagonist in her own life or merely a secondary character repeating foolish mistakes, to Lucia Macro at Avon, at auction, for publication spring/summer 2011, by Laura Rennert at Andrea Brown Literary Agency (NA).

Indichik says: You know, I don't even know what to say about these anymore. I'll continue running them because it's becoming too hilariously awful to resist. But I'm at the point where, if you could see me, I'd just be pulling a John Stewart, by putting up a portrait of Jane Austen in the upper corner of the screen and making a face.

Also: the long-awaited(?) Tucker Max sequel.

January 20, 2010

Publisher's Lunch says: Bloggers and journalists Andrea Bartz and Brenna Ehrlich's STUFF HIPSTERS HATE, based on their popular Tumblr site, an anthropological guide to the buzzed-about subculture, featuring analysis of the mating habits, habitat, theology, grooming practices and preferred entertainment of the modern-day hipster, with helpful graphs and charts to understand the elusive character of the trendy beast, to Kelly Reed at Ulysses Press, for publication in Fall 2010, by Jason Allen Ashlock at Movable Type Literary Group.

Indichik says: The people writing this are not hipsters. The people who will read this (if any) are not hipsters. Where are the hipsters? Tsk. You have to ask?

Publisher's Lunch says: Laura Spinella's BEAUTIFUL DISASTER, in which a sheltered college girl's life is forever altered by the motorcycle-riding stranger who blows into town followed by a trail of secrets, to Leis Pederson at Berkley, by Susan Ginsburg at Writers House.

Indichik says: Motorcycle-riding strangers ceased to be edgy around oh, 1956 or so, so for her sake, I'm really hoping Spinella has something else up her sleeve.

And finally, going back even another week, to January 12, 2010 and making this a true New Year's Roundup:

Publisher's Lunch says: Founder of www.myparentswereawesome.tumblr.com Eliot Glazer's MY PARENTS WERE AWESOME, an anthology of humorous and endearing writings from children about their parents -- before the fanny packs and Andrea Bocelli concerts -- when they were fashion-forward and super awesome, to Ryan Doherty at Villard, by Hannah Brown Gordon at Foundry Literary + Media (NA).

Indichik says: Blog books. Feh. But more relevantly -- seriously. If your parents really were awesome, why would you need to go on the Internet to share that fact? And run the risk finding out that somebody out there has parents that were even cooler than yours? Seems foolish, personally.


P.S. Apparently, the Y2K bug hit Publisher's Marketplace after all, albeit 10 years late. Today's blast was dated February 2, 1900. Here's to a capital 20th century, good sirs.

What's the deal? Your weekly Publisher's Lunch deal snark (Blogiana Edition)

Publisher's Lunch says: Comedic writer and former radio host April Winchell's REGRETSY, based on the popular blog of the same name; featuring a collection of the oddest, most humorous, and most disturbing crafts the world has ever seen, along with commentary provided by the author, to Jill Schwartzman at Villard, for trade paperback publication, in a pre-empt, by Meg Thompson at LJK Literary Management (world English).

Indichik says: So yeah, speaking of regret? Books based on blogs. Whatever happened to that one based on Stuff White People Like? I think I saw it in the 75% off bin at Urban Outfitters, like six months ago? There's a reason online media is taking of while print is (arguably) dying: disposability. Blogs are, quite rightly, written to be transient. When you spend good money to try to convert that concept to glossy covers and acid-free paper you lose what makes them work. Not everything is meant to be printed. Let's let blogs be blogs, okay? An end in themselves. (Confidential to book agents: contact me for my 78-page proposal for Indichik: The Novel.)

What's the deal? Your weekly Publisher's Lunch deal snark (God Bless America Edition)

Publisher's Lunch says: Todd Gitlin's UNDYING, about a philosopher, who is diagnosed with lymphoma while struggling to write a book contending that Friedrich Nietzsche's thought stemmed from his ill heath, and who is also compelled to contend with a severely errant daughter, as well as the trauma of George W. Bush's 2004 victory, to Jack Shoemaker at Counterpoint, by Ellen Levine at Trident Media Group.

Indichik says: That second obstacle (after the daughter) is priceless. Or maddening, I can't decide which. In any case, eight years of Bush were bad enough -- do we really need to start reliving them through fiction?

What's the deal? Your weekly Publisher's Lunch deal snark

Publisher's Lunch says: Hannah Pittard's THE FATES WILL FIND THEIR WAY, about a girl who goes missing on Halloween and how her disappearance unexpectedly transforms the lives of those who knew her, in particular, the neighborhood boys, whose memories, curiosity, and teenage lust keep them searching for information, rumors, theories about her disappearance for the rest of their lives, revealing their stumbling paths to adulthood, their tragedies and devotions, and her relentless enduring significance to them and the possibilities of her fate, to Lee Boudreaux at Ecco, for publication in Winter 2011, by Jim Rutman at Sterling Lord Literistic (NA).

Indichik says: Enough with the missing-kid books already, okay? It isn't just that this sounds exactly like The Lovely Bones, which it does (and I swear I've already used this feature to talk about a previous ripoff of that book). But it's that the national "media" continuing to hyperventilate every extremely rare instance of this, causing perfectly reasonable parents to live in fear because they, ridiculously come to believe that this is some kind of epidemic. And I don't hold fiction writers above that standard, no matter how literary they claim to be. It's all a form of exploitation and pandering; like mysteries and thrillers, violence and death and grief ; people are (let's face it) sick and it's what they want to read about. I almost might remind you that traditionally, most successful novels featured children who didn't go missing. David Copperfield, anyone?

What's the deal?

Publisher's Lunch says: 26-year-old Iowa Writers Workshop grad Benjamin Hale's THE EVOLUTION OF BRUNO LITTLEMORE, the fictional memoir of the world's first chimpanzee to attain the power of speech, whose big, brash, bestial narrative shows us what it is to be human -- to love, to learn, to hope, to reach, and to fail, to Cary Goldstein at Twelve, at auction, for publication in winter 2011, by Brian DeFiore at DeFiore and Company (NA).

Indichik says: There were no less than two Iowa MFA grads with deals in the newsletter this week, and much as I would like to heap derision on that fact, I don't really have the heart to rip on a guy who has had to deal with every acquaintance he's encountered for the last few years greeting him with: "So, still working on that monkey book?"

What's the deal? Same as it was last time, apparently

It seems that while I was off making a living, and then recovering from the trauma of making a living, the world has continued to spin without me.

Sigh.

But happily, I'm back to bring you the latest installment of What's the Deal?, your very own weekly Publisher's Lunch newsletter deal snark.


Here's the latest developments in the exciting and ever-changing world of publishing:

Publisher's Lunch says: Sarah Gray's WUTHERING BITES, a retelling of Wuthering Heights in which Heathcliff is a vampire, to John Scognamiglio at Kensington, in a very nice deal, for publication in September 2010, by Evan Marshall at Evan Marshall Agency (World).

Publisher's Lunch says: Literary critic Bill Deresiewicz's EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT LIFE I LEARNED BY READING JANE AUSTEN: One Man, Six Books and the Secrets of Life and Love, an exploration of what Jane Austen's books can teach us all about growing up, the importance of the little things, the blinding glitz of wealth and class, being a good person, finding true friends, and falling in love, to Ann Godoff at Penguin Press, by Elyse Cheney of Elyse Cheney Agency (NA).
Translation: Nicole Steen at Elyse Cheney Literary Associates

Indichik says: So...vampires and Jane Austen. Never mind.

What's the deal? Your very own weekly Publisher's Lunch deal snark: "Jane Austen is dead, get over it" Edition

Publisher's Lunch says: Lynn Shepherd's MURDER AT MANSFIELD PARK, a mischievous and clever reimagining of the Austen classic, to Hope Dellon at St. Martin's, by Ben Mason at Conville & Walsh (NA). UK/Commonwealth rights to Simon Petherick at Beautiful Books.

Indichik says: It started relatively innocuously in the mid '90s, with "Sense and Sensibility" and "Emma," not to mention "Clueless," and continued on into the 2000s, with the overhyped Keira Knightley version of "Pride and Prejudice" the fourth film version up to the point, and the subsequent bizarre transformation of Fitzwilliam Darcy into some kind of Georgian-era Edward Cullen, minus the bloodsucking. Then because female audiences couldn't get enough of sexless, nonthreatening, cravat-wearing antiheroes, and Hollywood had had run out of actual Jane Austen novels to film, we had "Becoming Jane," which was a biopic attempting to reimagine Austen herself as one of her own beautiful and feisty romantic heroines, despite the fact that she was a plain-looking recluse who never married and lived at home until she died at the age of 42.

That couldn't be all, of course -- not when chick lit remains a viable market. So what did we have then? Why, "Jane Austen chick lit"! A match made in heaven! A quick Amazon search reveals that we've got "Jane Austen Ruined My Life," "What Would Jane Austen Do?," "Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict," and for the DIY-ers, "Create Your Own Jane Austen Adventure." Then there's "Austenland," and "Me and Mr. Darcy," the latter two of which are essentially the same book, in which a modern-day thirtysomething woman from the big city, frustrated with romance, blah blah blah, ends up touring some bizarre Jane Austen-theme park in England, and, much to her surprise, ends up meeting none other than...Mr. Darcy! It could so totally happen. Not to mention the apparently very successful "Jane Austen Mysteries" series, casting Jane herself as the intrepid gumshoe, of which Shepherd's book appears to be an offspring. Then at last, we come to the dozens or so unauthorized sequels, retellings and "companion novels" to "Pride and Prejudice," all astonishingly by different writers bearing vaguely English-sounding names that all seem to eventually boil down to something like "Alexandra Willoughby" -- "Mr. Darcy's Great Escape," "The Other Mr. Darcy," "Marrying Darcy," "Darcy's Temptation," "Darcy and Anne," "The Plight of the Darcy Brothers," "Mr. Darcy's Dream," "The Darcys and the Bingleys," "The Private Diary of Mr. Darcy," and, inevitably, "Mr. Darcy, Vampyre," proving, not for the first time, that we, as a society, are doomed.

Jane Austen is dead. Get over it.

What's the deal? Your very own weekly Publisher's Lunch deal snark

Publisher's Lunch says: Stegner Fellow and Stanford/UCSF creative writing professor Alice LaPlante's TURN OF MIND, pitched as having a Patricia Highsmith-esque mystery at its heart, in which the narrator, a brilliant surgeon with Alzheimer's-related dementia, is suspected of killing a neighbor who was her best friend and most worthy adversary, to Morgan Entrekin and Elisabeth Schmitz at Grove/Atlantic, for publication in Winter 2011, by Victoria Skurnick at the Levine Greenberg Literary Agency (world). Foreign rights to Goldmann in Germany and Orlando in Holland, in pre-empts.

Indichik says: I know virtually nothing about Alice LaPlante and I'm so totally sure she's a wonderful writer and an even better creative writing professor blah blah blah, but ANOTHER STEGNER FELLOW? This has to be the fourth or fifth one this year I've read about having sold a first novel. I daresay it's getting to the point where Tobias Wolff and a handful of his Stanford cronies are dictating the entire future of literary fiction in this country. Yes, This Boy's Life was a good read (and no one loves picturing young Leo DiCaprio's face more than me), but seriously.

There are writing programs all over the country with different faculty who embrace different styles and methods, some of whom charge their students an arm and a leg to attend. Maybe we could throw a few scraps their way? Huh? At the very least, you'd be getting gratitude.

As for LaPlante's book itself, it sounds like The Thirteenth Tale meets The Lovely Bones. Yawn.

What's the deal? Your very own weekly Publisher's Lunch deal snark

This week's inaugural selection falls under the Fiction/Debut category. The Lunch Weekly-provided description reads as follows:

Rainbow Rowell's FLAGGED, a fresh take on the office comedy in which a shy but endearing I.T. guy whose job is to monitor the company email falls in love with a girl in his office whose emails are constantly flagged, to Erika Imranyi at Dutton, at auction, by Christopher Schelling at Ralph M. Vicinanza.

Indichik says: Okay. Two things: First, there's no possible way I will ever read a book, short of a memoir of a life spent in the adult-film industry, by anyone named Rainbow. Second, "fresh take on the office comedy"has been an oxymoron for at least past ten years or so, given that at least one story in every lit mag I've read has featured a story about some poor sap just out of college (a doppelganger for the author five years ago) fooling himself into thinking's he's cleverer than everyone else his age because, just like everyone else, he wants to share the witty barbs he came up with while working at some awful job.

Ha ha, it's funny because working in a cubical is dull! Ha ha, it's funny because my boss is a moron! Ha ha, it's funny because my co-workers are weird!

Then tack on a gimmicky po-mo plot involving modern technology, as a vehicle for a cliched romance, in which no doubt some gorgeous, non-threateningly quirky girl inexplicably falls for an ugly, socially-inept nerd, and there's literary gold.

This concludes the inaugural edition of What's the Deal?